Plastic Surgery Follow-up

I had my 8-week follow-up with my plastic surgeon.  He said things will continue to settle, but he seemed happy with my results.  In fact, he called me a success story ("who, me?") and asked to share my photo with other unilateral mastectomy clients.  If I do decide to have a revision surgery, it will be minor and won't require any surgical drains.  He advised waiting at least another six months.  In the meantime, Jeff is planning his own plastic surgery and also suggested we get our misshapen nostrils fixed together.  Couple activity!  I told him he wasn't allowed to come to my appointments anymore.

Let's see, what else?  

My medical recliner damaged the paint on our bedroom wall, and our paint can was dried out, and the company that made the paint went out of business, so we tried a custom color match and it wasn't even close, so now we have to paint the entire wall a slightly different shade of navy blue, and while moving our massive bed frame away from the wall, I almost broke my finger, and Jeff felt bad about it and started an argument with me, so I quit home improvement and took up meditation instead.  

I actually downloaded Sam Harris' Waking Up meditation app six months ago.  I started the introductory course and told Jeff how enlightened I was becoming, so Jeff downloaded the same app.  Enlightenment went out the window and it became a straight-up competition.  "Wait, you did two sessions today?  Well, now I have to do another one."  After a month of this, we both quit meditating altogether but kept paying for two subscriptions.  I have now recommitted to finishing the course (while Jeff sands and paints our bedroom wall by himself).  It's probably beneficial for me to turn off my planning self and focus on my experiencing self once in awhile.  I like the idea of living an examined life, but it's not as easy as it sounds.  

My guided meditation session usually starts out like this:

Sam Harris: "Welcome.  Sit a little straighter in your chair."  

Me: "No can do.  I'm in a hammock."  

Sam Harris: "Focus on your breath."

Me: "This totally reminds me of wearing the breath-tracking virtual reality goggles during proton therapy.  Up, down, up, down."

Sam Harris: "Now open your eyes and make your vision wide.  Don't focus on anything in particular."  

Me: "Wow, my toenails have grown back nicely.  They're beautiful!  I mean, my feet are still my worst feature, but my toenails are so normal-looking!"

Then around minute seven, when I finally get into it, Claire sneaks up behind me and yells, "Mommy, can I have some frozen grapes?"  And I yell at her to go away so I can get back to being my best self.

When does school start again?  Oh, right.  Never.